We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
