Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
