therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
