just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
