And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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