i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
