I like to think it a success when the cops are called
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
