he thought i was a dude.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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