Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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