what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
