So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
