Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
