Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
