wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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