Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We were destined to go to rehab together
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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