i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
