i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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