tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i came on her dog
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
