how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
