He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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