I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm too high and old for this...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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