Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
