i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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