woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
