Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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