I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
