Can i not drive my cunt home
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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