Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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