i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
