The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
