Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
