apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
