I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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