8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
