woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize