Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
