I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Randomize
