Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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