you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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