Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
