What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
