he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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