how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
