it hurts more in the daytime
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
