How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
