I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
