and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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