just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
