: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
