when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
