the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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