It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
