i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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