So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
