I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
