come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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