Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
