"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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